Core Grammar: -(으)려야 and -고 보니
These two grammar patterns help express the gap between intention/expectation and reality, often conveying a sense of frustration or surprise.
Meaning & Usage
-(으)려야: This pattern expresses that you cannot do something, no matter how much you intend or try. It emphasizes the impossibility or your psychological block against an action. It's almost always followed by a negative phrase like -(으)ㄹ 수 없다 (can't) or 안 되다 (doesn't work).
-고 보니: This pattern is used when you realize or discover something new only after completing an action. The realization is often unexpected or contrary to what you thought before doing the action. It connects an action to a subsequent discovery.
Conjugation Rules
-(으)려야:
Verb stem ends in a vowel or ㄹ: Add -려야. (e.g., 가다 → 가려야, 잊다 → 잊으려야 but 만들다 → 만들려야)
Verb stem ends in a consonant (except ㄹ): Add -으려야. (e.g., 먹다 → 먹으려야, 끊다 → 끊으려야)
-고 보니:
Simply attach -고 보니 to any verb stem, regardless of whether it ends in a vowel or a consonant. (e.g., 하다 → 하고 보니, 입다 → 입고 보니)
-(으)려야: 가려야 / 먹으려야 / -고 보니: 하고 보니 / 먹고 보니
Native Nuance & Mistakes
Understanding the subtle feelings these patterns convey is key to using them naturally.
The Frustration of -(으)려야
Context: -(으)려야 is not just about physical impossibility; it's often about a strong internal or situational barrier. It implies a struggle. You wouldn't use it for something that is fundamentally impossible for anyone, like flying. It's for actions you should be able to do but can't.
Example (Do): 너무 슬퍼서 울음을 참으려야 참을 수가 없었어. (I was so sad I couldn't hold back my tears even if I tried.)
Example (Don't): 하늘을 날려야 날 수가 없어. (This is unnatural because flying is not something a person can normally do.)
The "Aha!" Moment of -고 보니
Context: -고 보니 isn't just for listing events in order. It highlights the moment of realization—the "Aha!" or "Oh no!" that follows an action. The information discovered is new to the speaker at that moment.
Example (Do): 그 사람 말을 듣고 보니 그게 맞는 것 같아요. (After listening to him, I realize he seems to be right.) - This shows a change in perspective.
Example (Don't): 아침에 일어나고 보니 밥을 먹었어요. (This is unnatural. It's just a sequence of actions, not a realization.)
Do: 잊으려야 잊을 수가 없어. (O) / Don't: 하늘을 날려야 날 수가 없어. (X)
Common Pairings with -(으)려야 and -고 보니
These patterns often appear in set phrases or with specific types of verbs, making them easier to recognize and use.
-(으)려야 + Negative Ending
The most common structure repeats the same verb, as in 잊으려야 잊을 수가 없다, which strongly emphasizes the impossibility of an action despite the will to do it.
Other negative endings like 안 되다 or 못 하다 can also follow.
Examples: 잊으려야 잊을 수가 없어 (can't forget), 참으려야 참을 수가 없다 (can't endure), 끊으려야 끊을 수가 없다 (can't quit).
Action Verbs + -고 보니
-고 보니 frequently follows verbs related to perception, action, or receiving information, leading to a new realization.
Common preceding verbs include 알다 (to know), 보다 (to see), 듣다 (to hear), 받다 (to receive), and 오다 (to come).
Examples: 입어보고 보니 (after trying it on), 받고 보니 (after receiving it), 알고 보니 (after finding out).
잊으려야 잊을 수가 없어 / 입어보고 보니
Responding with Empathy and Solutions
When a friend shares a frustrating or disappointing experience using these patterns, you can respond with sympathy, encouragement, or practical advice.
Responding to -(으)려야
This pattern often expresses emotional struggle. Show you understand and care.
Express empathy: 정말 힘들겠다. (That must be so tough.)
Offer comfort/encouragement: 너무 혼자 끙끙 앓지 마. (Don't suffer so much all by yourself.) or 기운 내. (Cheer up.)
Offer help: 내가 대신 지워줄까? (Should I delete it for you?)
Responding to -고 보니
This pattern often introduces an unexpected problem. You can ask for details, suggest a solution, or express sympathy.
Ask for details: 왜? 뭐가 문제인데? (Why? What's the problem?)
Suggest a solution: 그럼 환불하면 되잖아. (Then you can just get a refund.)
Show sympathy: 어떡해... (Oh, what to do...)
정말 힘들겠다. / 어떡해...
Politeness & Formality
Both patterns can be easily adjusted for polite and casual situations by changing the sentence ending.
-(으)려야 -(으)ㄹ 수 없다
Context: This structure is very common. To make it polite, use the ~아요/어요 ending. For casual speech with close friends, use the ~아/어 ending.
Example (Polite): 너무 시끄러워서 집중하려야 할 수가 없어요. (It's so noisy I can't concentrate even if I try.)
Example (Casual): 너무 시끄러워서 집중하려야 할 수가 없어. (It's so noisy I can't concentrate even if I try.)
~고 보니(까)
Context: -고 보니까 is often used in spoken Korean and is interchangeable with -고 보니. The politeness is determined by the final verb. Use -(으)시- for politeness towards the subject and ~ㅂ니다 or ~아요/어요 for the listener. For casual speech, use endings like ~더라 or ~았어/었어.
Example (Polite): 막상 와서 보니 생각보다 훨씬 좋네요. (Now that I'm actually here, I realize it's much better than I thought.)
Example (Casual): 집에 와서 보니 열쇠를 안 가져왔더라. (After I got home, I realized I didn't bring my keys.)
Polite: 잊으려야 잊을 수가 없어요. / 와서 보니 좋네요. / Casual: 잊으려야 잊을 수가 없어. / 와서 보니 좋네.